Mr. Chickee's Messy Mission by Christopher Paul Curtis
What the.....?!?! How on earth did some reviewer someplace even include this in books for teens, which landed it on our magic spreadsheet? I got as far as the scene in which we find out that a couple of the characters are, oh, seven before tossing this one. Plus it's not even Curtis at his best. Why oh why did he ever stray from historical fiction? NAY, NAY, NAY.